Reasons why
by mrscreepyheather
Summary: Sanji returned from Whole Cake Island and sets to apologizing to the Strawhats. Zoro is hurt and mad about Sanji leaving and has a lot to say to the cook about it. During their conversation hidden truths come out.


**Hi. This is my first story. I hope you guys like it. I've been working on it a few days and keep returning to it to make changes but I am forcing myself to publish today as it's my b-day. I'm working on a longer multi chapter fic and will start posting it soon. Please read and review!**

 **Goes w/out saying I don't own One Piece though I wish I did.**

The Sanji Retrieval team was finally back with the rest of the group. All the Strawhats had gathered on the Thousand Sunny to celebrate Jinbei officially joining and Sanji's return.

Big Mom's crew was still a threat granted less so with Big Mom gone. Bege decided to go his own way instead of taking on Kaido with them.

Vinsmoke Judge had a talk with Sanji before they left. He had realized the error of his ways. Ichiji, Niji and Yonji had guns pointed at their heads with no where to go and never once saw let alone feared the danger. They had a complete disregard for their own lives. Yet his son who he deemed weak and nothing but a pawn fought alongside people who loved him with an unbelievable strength. He also saw how his son could have forsaken him but did not. Sanji felt better for that talk.

Upon their return Luffy called for a feast as usual. Sanji threw his all into making everyone's favorite foods. He made sure there were piles of meat for Luffy. He still felt guilty for the things he said to him even if it was to save him. After everyone had ate and was enjoying themselves on the deck he went around to each one and apologized.

Luffy blew it off as was his way. They were nakama and nakama would always protect each other. He did hug him with all of his rubbery chaos and told him with a serious look on his face that it was captain's orders never to do something like that again. Sanji owed so much to that kid with the contagious smile.

He had talked to those who went after him before but he didn't feel it was a proper apology. Sanji apologized to Nami and amidst her tears and punches she understood. Chopper cried then went into heavy point and put him into a headlock for worrying them. He was quickly released and promised Chopper cotton candy every day for a month. Franky said he understood as he patted him on the back with his large hand. Sanji knew apologizing would be difficult but didn't think he would be hit so much.

Brook was melancholic for a moment saying it broke his heart to think he almost lost a nakama then laughed at the lack of heart. Sanji thanked Jinbei who in turn thanked him for setting the course of events where he could proudly stand in front of Big Mom and tell her she no longer had sway over him he was now a Strawhat. Sanji was happy Jinbei's freedom came out of all that mess.

Usopp told Sanji that he should have known better than to doubt them. That he should have known Luffy would never let one of his precious nakama go like that. Sanji knew of course how far Luffy would go for them especially after Ace's death and their two year separation.

Sanji talked with Robin who shared a similar instance with him now. "I left all that time ago because I didn't understand. I hadn't been with the crew long and thought this was my only way to protect everyone. I didn't understand the depths of devotion and love we all share." Robin explained.

Sanji sighed. "I get it. I just thought I could do this and keep anyone else from getting involved. I should have known no matter what Luffy would never leave it like that. But they knew everywhere I'd been since I left Germa. They knew everyone I was close to. You never met Zeff he's the man who truly raised me and the reason I'm alive. He was threatened first. I'll admit to you I was afraid. I'm sure you found all the information about the Vinsmoke's history but they once conquered all of North Blue. As a child I only understood a portion of what they were capable of but knew my father would do anything to regain his empire."

Robin nodded "Yes Pekoms explained all this. He said that if at any point you didn't do as ordered you would receive someone's head in a box."

Sanji gestured with his hands. "Exactly."

"I know someone who is upset by your actions still regardless of the reasons." Robin said.

Sanji thought. Everyone had been forgiving. The only one he hadn't talked to was Zoro who seemed to be dodging him. "The Marimo?"

Robin simply smiled in response. "Now I am off to bed."

Sanji realized he was left alone on deck. He looked around wondering when the others went to bed. He saw a light on in the crow's nest and Zoro's silhouette. He waved and saw the shadow move away from the window. He thought about talking to him now. How dare the Shitty Moss Head not understand he was protecting the others. That's what the Monster Trio always did. Zoro, Sanji thought, should understand that most of all.

Sanji considered barging into the crow's nest, Zoro's territory, but reconsidered. He would clean up then wait for the Bastard's nightly sake raid and lock him in the galley, Sanji's territory and force him to talk.

Sanji waited in the dark of the galley. He was fighting sleep and smoking to stay awake. He also wasn't sure how this would go. He couldn't figure out why Zoro was mad or avoiding him. Sanji knew Zoro's way of doing things was just to meet them head on so this was disconcerting.

The sound of a figure hitting the deck followed by thumping boots fully woke him. Sanji put his cigarette out and crept by the door. No way was Marimo getting out of this.

Zoro opened the door and walked inside only to be met with the sound of the door slamming behind him. He quickly turned around and saw Sanji standing there blocking the door. "Oi Cook. I'm just getting a drink. I'll be out in a minute don't get all pissy."

Sanji was confused before but mad now. "I'm not pissy dammit. But you need to stop acting like a coward and sit down and listen to what I have to say." He knew the coward remark was harsh but Zoro wasn't acting right.

Zoro glared, hand itching for his katana. They were both stubborn but he knew once the cook had it in his mind he wouldn't stop. Zoro thought the others forgave him too easily and he needed to tell him his opinion so he relented and sat with arms crossed. He raised an eyebrow for Sanji to continue.

Sanji still felt mad but the fight left him. He didn't think this would be so easy to get Zoro to listen. He had to apologize right. Zoro may have started out as a rival but he was his best friend now. After the separation they had begun to meet and talk late into the night about everything. He knew he hurt his friend. He did as Zoro would. He pushed his pride aside and sank to his knees put his hands and forehead on the floor. "I'm sorry I left. I was only doing what I thought was right."

"Right?" Zoro scoffed. He was surprised the cook prostrated himself but still he shouldn't have left in the first place. He hated how Sanji always did that trying to take on everything by himself.

"Shut it. I'm not done. I'm sorry my past came back. I'm sorry I drug you all into this especially now. I'm sorry everyone separated instead of focusing on Kaido. I'm sorry for hurting you and the others." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Zoro." Sanji heard harsh breathing in the otherwise silence and looked up.

 _I'm not going to forgive him. I won't forgive him. I don't care how sincere he is._ "You done?" He kept his voice as cold as he could but could hear his rapid breaths giving him away. If the look of utter remorse and sadness stayed in Sanji's visible blue eye he couldn't stay mad at him but anger replaced those emotions in the blond.

Sanji stood fist balling at his sides. Trying to keep his voice quiet enough not to wake the others. "Why are you being an asshole?"

"I'm not you are." Zoro replied.

Sanji huffed he needed a cig. "What are you five? I apologized to everyone why you are the only one pissed off?"

"Because you left us." Zoro said.

"I had to." Sanji explained.

"You left us."

"I had to."

"But you left us."

Sanji had to changed tactics. "Big Mom is gone now."

Zoro scowled. "You didn't know that would happen. You still left us."

Sanji felt like he was hitting his head on the wall with this argument. "Her and Germa would have come after the crew and any one else if I didn't"

Why Sanji couldn't understand what he really meant Zoro didn't know but he was frustrated. "You doubted us and left."

"I had to. They would have killed someone I know and sent me their head in a box. They would have started with Zeff. Zeff Zoro Zeff. What about the others? What about Luffy do you think he could have lost Sabo? Or Nami losing Nojiko? Or fuck Chopper losing that crazy doctor? Could I really look into his big brown eyes after that?" Sanji felt like crying just thinking about it. He had been doing that a lot lately. That whole situation just made him miserable.

Zoro saw the glassy look in the blue eye but continued on. "We could have protected them, still doesn't change the fact you left us."

Sanji threw his hands in the air. "We couldn't be everywhere at once."

Zoro didn't like to hurt him like this but the fact Sanji never once even hinted about his past felt like a betrayal. Zoro had shared everything in their late night talks and the cook left out something huge. Stubborn to the core he continued on. "Still you left us."

"Ugh!" Sanji didn't think the idiot could say anything different.

"Fine." _Cards of the table time_. "You left me." It wasn't how Zoro wanted the cook to know how he felt. He saw the surprised look but no horror. No physical attacks either. He was surprised to say the least.

Sanji had admitted in the privacy of his mind he had confusing thoughts when it came to Zoro. Thoughts he only reserved for women. "What do you mean by that?" Sanji asked not looking Zoro is the eyes.

Zoro rubbed the back of his neck. "Nothing. Forget about it."

Sanji shook his head. "I'd rather we talk about this. How about I grab a few bottles and we go to neutral ground the aquarium room."

Zoro muttered "fine see you there" and stalked off.

Sanji grabbed a few bottles and followed.

They both sat on the couch next to each other in the aquarium room Sanji with his wine and Zoro with his sake. Neither really looked at the other and neither wanted to break the silence. They were treading into the unknown.

Eventually Zoro had enough he knew Sanji was right he was being a coward. He was not a coward. "I've liked you for a long time. I know we fight a lot and insult each other but I do that to keep you from seeing the truth. When I was nineteen you challenged me on every level. You made me feel everything. Sad, mad, lonely, jealous with the way you are around women and never nice to me but also happy and glad to know you always had my back. When I was with Mihawk I had time to think about what everyone meant to me. I think of the girls like sisters and the guys like brothers or crazy uncles but I couldn't find a place to put you."

"When we came back together one look at you and I knew what you meant to me. I've always enjoyed the sparring; you push me to be better. You keep me on my toes. You make sure I eat properly. When I'm having a bad day you do something to make me feel better. When I separate myself from the parties you sit next to me. You support my dream. You're kind even when abrasive and unwavering in your convictions. I realized I always wanted to be by your side. I will always support your dream and want to be there when you see All Blue just like I want you there when I beat Mihawk." Zoro saw Sanji sitting there with wide eyes.

After a moment of silence and no response from the cook Zoro continued. "You're handsome and sexy. Your eyes are beautiful. Your body is amazing. You're just like the ocean changing and unpredictable. I thought I knew everything about you but I was wrong. I thought you would always be around. I never thought you would leave until we had all reached our dreams. I only want what is best for you. Hell I want you to find a woman who will love you as much as I do."

Sanji felt like he had been caught in a storm and now had a chance to take in all that happened. Zoro spoke more than he ever really knew him too even in their late night talks. He had seen the affectionate looks the Marimo threw his way but he always brushed it off to them being friends. Now he knew exactly how he felt and Sanji was scared. "You can't seriously love me."

 _Well that could have been worse._ "I do." Zoro said.

Sanji's confusing thoughts were as the front of this mind. Zoro had figured everything out but he had refused to. Maybe he should have he thought. Sanji was always told men were supposed to be with woman never another man. It was even illegal by the World Government not that that mattered they were pirates with heavy bounties. He had seen people beat for it or just treated like crap for it. He had always been a ladies man so why did he feel that way for Zoro. And the fact Zoro loved him was more than he could process. "I don't know how I feel about you. I've been confused for a while now."

Zoro smiled. He knew Sanji wouldn't feel the same way about him. He had made peace with that. "That's okay. I just want you to be happy. I was pissed at you before because you kept your real family from me and I had shared everything except this with you. I thought it might push you away if I told you."

Sanji knew how to answer that. "Never we're nakama you won't push me away."

Zoro was glad. The crew was his family and he didn't want any problems. He also didn't want to lose the time alone with the cook. "So we're good right?"

Sanji was still reeling from Zoro's confession. "Yeah we're good." Zoro began to stand and Sanji grabbed his wrist. He was always told it was wrong and illegal and he thought he only wanted a woman but he wanted to see what it would be like to kiss Zoro. He pulled him back down on the couch and looked into Zoro's grey eye. "I want you to kiss me." He knew Zoro was a lot of things but the marimo was loyal, honest and put his all into anything he did. Sanji always wanted someone like that.

Zoro thought he heard wrong. "What?"

"Dammit Marimo." Sanji surged forward and pressed his lips to Zoro's. It took no time for the other man to respond with his left hand running through Sanji's silky hair and the other on his back pulling him in closer. The kiss started out simple but quickly heated. Both opening their mouths with tongues sliding and dancing together. They knew the other so well from the constant fighting that they moved like practiced lovers. Sanji could feel his whole body lighting up and his groin beginning to swell. His mind was still a bit jumbled but his body knew what it wanted. He wanted Zoro.

Zoro began to push him back and he went with it laying back. Zoro lightly rested his weight on him. Sanji loved the feel of their lips and tongues moving together sharing each other's breath. He was getting more turned on as the other man grinded against him; he in turn opened his legs to get more friction wrapping his lethal legs around Zoro's hips pulling him tight against him. Both men had their hands roaming over the other pushing under clothing to reach skin the kiss still not breaking.

Sanji never thought anyone could make him feel this alive. Every nerve ending was singing with pleasure. He thought fuck anyone who would judge them. The man above loved him and was showing that in every caress. Once he gave up his restraint and gave into sensation he realized how close to climax he was. He broke the kiss to moan from the feeling. "Zoro" he groaned.

Zoro was on cloud nine. If he believed in a god he would be thanking them right now. He was amazed that the kiss could turn into this with Sanji completely open to him. When he heard him moan it went straight to his groin and the way the cook said his name so filled with lust it was unbelievable. He wanted and needed to hear from Sanji that this wasn't a one time thing. That he wasn't giving in because he needed this but wanted this. He pulled away and pushed back the golden hair to reveal both blue eyes. "I want this. I want this so much. I want us to be together. I don't care if anyone else knows as long as we know. I'm already yours. Will you be with me?"

An insecure and sensitive Marimo, Sanji thought if he got to see that side more often it wouldn't take long to love him. "Yes I want to be with you."

Zoro smiled and kiss him again. He reached between them and pulled down both their zippers. He took both of their members in hand and began to stroke the pulsing hot flesh. The man beneath him was beautiful as their kiss broke. He was panting and arching and squirming. His precious hands gripped tan skin. Zoro speed his hand up enjoying the feel of the other's flesh. He came shortly before the other man. The sight of Sanji is orgasmic bliss was more than he could fantasize about. He collapsed next to Sanji wrapping his arms around him. Sanji turned to face him and they shared a few lazy kisses.

Sanji felt loved really and truly loved. He was still a bit scared. He had never been with a man and at some point they would have sex which the thought made him a bit afraid but also excited. What they just shared was amazing so more would only be better. One day they would tell the crew until then it didn't matter they would have each other.


End file.
